If you've ever seen that episode of Only Fools and Horses where Del and Rodney managed to foil a crime dressed as Batman and Robin, you'll be able to picture the scene that Michelle Kirby of Whitley, near Reading, witnessed when her Peugeot 206 ran out of petrol on Easter Sunday. Just as she had given up hope of rescue two men dressed as the dynamic duo appeared out of nowhere and pushed her car to safety and a local petrol station. She told the Reading Evening Post "They just appeared. I saw them running down the road in Batman and Robin outfits - I was laughing so much.
"They said, "I'm Batman, I'm Robin" and I said, "No, you're not" and asked them if they were going to a fancy dress party but they said they were going back to Gotham City." As soon as they were convinced that Michelle was safe and sound, off they trotted into the distance.
Apparently the caped crusaders have been popping all over Whitley since they appeared at the Jack Taylor TRS Trophy on the same day as Michelle's 'rescue'. Players and fans stood in amazement as the bald-headed boy-wonder and slightly chubby Dark Knight chased a streaker off the pitch.
Elderly residents have even commented that they would feel safer with the masked vigilantes on the streets. 61 year old Ray Cox told the paper that he'd seen them in the early morning while shopping pegging around in their capes and tights. "I said to my wife, it would make it a better and safer place with these men," said he. "Batman was quite a broad chap. They would scare a few muggers off and I'd feel safer in Whitley."
Perhaps we'll see this kind of thing happening all over the country right now. It could be that a public dissatified with the police could put their trust into a grown man dressed as Bananaman, patrolling the streets of Kidderminster or that I should live a double life as mild-mannered editor by night and Hong Kong Fuey, number one superguy in the evening.
Is such a life possible at all for that matter? If Spiderman is swinging overhead all night putting the wind up rum coves who are being a bit naughty how does Peter Parker look so fresh faced when he clocks in at the Daily Bugle in the morning. Maybe he moisturises? And how do they sort out a social life? Does Wonder Woman suddenly panic because her Mum has just phoned to say she's on the way around for a cuppa and she's realised that the flats a state and her satin tights are all over the place. She didn'thave time to tidy last night 'cos she was fighting off an invasion of giant pan-dimensional vampire earwigs. What about the Hulk? Doesn't all that smashing and flexing of pecs mean Bruce Banner never gets to watch the episode of Footballers Wives that he recorded last week.
These are questions that must be answered...
