The Wedding feast OF DOOM!!!

And so here I am preparing for a wedding. Hopefully I won't have the problems that beset Eladio Baule of Manila in the Philippines on the day of his daughter's wedding.

The tale of woe went like this:

Mr Baule became angry with his cousin Benjie who accidently touched the brides backside.

Mr Baule gathers his son, nephew and another cousin, takes Benjie aside and stabs him to death.

Mr Baule roasted his body using coconut leaves and kerosene.

Mr Baule then served Benjie's flesh to the wedding guests.

Needless to say that Mr Baule is being charged with murder and cannibalism.

So, everyone at my wedding next year should beware - don't go near Clare's bottom or you could find yourself next to the sausages on sticks and quiche!