It's a fine day says Rolf Harris

Bag Pipes. Didgeridoos. Rolf Harris.

Three things you would not expect to hear on a dance track.

Until Now.

'Fine Day' will cheer you up whatever your mood and you can listening to it at my MySpace page.

While you're there you can always add yourself as one of my friends. Will you be my friend? Will you?

Changing Times

A lifetime ago when working on T3 Magazine I wrote that one of my ambitions in life was to steal some of Britney Spear's hair and clone an entire army of Britney's all wearing the red rubber costume from the 'Whoops I did it again' video. They would then wait on me hand and foot.

Now, I have the chance. All I need to do is buy some of her recently shaved locks and double-check my collection of rubbish sci-fi films to work out how to grow her in a test-tube.

However, I now find that the thought of being surrounded by 1000 Britneys is quite distressing and I'd much rather clone, say, Emma Thompson.

Is this a sign that I'm getting older?

The Joy of Roasts

On another blog I was visiting someone said a post about a roast sunday dinner was a lame topic about a post.

I can think of much worse topics.

There's just something very comforting about a sunday lunch. Something that reminds you of the past. Something that gives you a wistful thrill for a time that probably never existed and reminds you, for just an hour, that things haven't changed that much. OK, the climate is shifting. OK, the world doesn't seem so safe. But whatever happens you will always have roasties, yorkshire puddings and horseradish source.

It's time for family and friends to sit down and enjoy time together. To laugh, joke and pass the mint sauce. For once, you can forget about sitting in front of the telly with a tray on your lap and enjoy eating in other people's country. To remember the time that Grandma let off when she was tucking into the stuffing or dad was caught feeding his parsnips to the dog. It's a cosy room when the rain lashes down, the smoky, oaky smell of an old pub. It's home.

It's the one meal where you're allowed to view the world, your past, present and future with rose-tinted-glasses.

It's nostalgia on a plate.

But what is your favourite roast dinner? Is it lamb? Beef? Chicken? Take part in our poll and let us know what you'd rather have alongside your spuds and carrots...

What is your favourite type of roast dinner
	Pork
	Beef
	Lamb
	Chicken
	Turkey
	Duck
Free polls from Pollhost.com

I Hates Macs says the Guardian's Charlie Brooker

And so in today's Guardian, Charlie Brooker has a go at Macs in his 'I Hate Macs' opinion piece.

His anger has been peaked by the Mitchell and Webb ads where he points out that Webb's Mac persona might be a bit on the smug side.

Well, Mac users can be smug obviously as our machines are safe, easy to use and just plain lovely. Obviously Mr Brooker would see my comments here as a justification of his point but I couldn't care less.

And the reason I dismiss your views Mr Brooker? Because you dare have a pop at my beloved Mac? Nope! Because you call Mac users mediocre idiots? 'Fraid not!

You see, Charlie-boy, I would have cared a lot more about your argument if you hadn't included this sentance...

"When I sit down to use a Mac, the first thing I think is, "I hate Macs", and then I think, "Why has this rubbish aspirational ornament only got one mouse button?"

Journalism at its best. Mr Brooker was obviously so wound up when he wrote this little piece that he failed to perform a one-minute research session in which he found out that the Mighty Mouse can indeed click both ways. He claims that the Mac ads slag off PC users with a series of sweeping generalisations. Shame he didn't think to get his facts right before he did the exact same thing about Mac users. Charlie obviously hates Macs, the trouble is, he hate Macs from about five years ago it seems...